School Wars Episode VI: Thanks to the Squirrels
by QUACK Inc
Summary: In this episode of School Wars (where characters in Star Wars go to/work in a school), Luke must face the "bad boy" Han Solo to win his crush's admiration. But something weird was going on. Will Luke be able to figure it out? Copyright QUACK Inc 2016. All characters were taken from Lucasfilm Ltd.'s Star Wars.
Luke walked down the hallway to Jedi History class, happily discussing the merits and demerits of flying with his best friend Biggs.

They were in a very heated discussion about how the wings affect the ship when he saw Leia was walking in their direction. And they had to stop.

See, Luke had a huge crush on Leia, always has. But because Tattoine didn't have much girls his age, he didn't have any experience with girls. Luke tugged at his collar nervously.

"Here she comes, man. Hope I don't mess this up. Hey, Leia!" he called, waving.

"Oh, hey Luke. I actually was going to talk to you."

"ME!?" Luke pointed at himself.

She laughed. "Yes, you. I'm trying to get Han Solo and his gang to stop pelting the squirrels outside, but they aren't listening. Seems like they don't care about animals, much less nature."

"I care!" Luke said. He winced. Huh, that sounded better in his head.

Lea gave a half-smile. "If only blasters were allowed in this school . . ."

"Aww, don't go all-blaster on Han, Leia!" Luke said. "He'll be bored in a few minutes and stop, anyways. Besides, you'll get detention for shooting Han. Maybe worse. And I'd like you to stay. Here. In school." He colored, thinking _can I just die of embarrassment?_

Leia wasn't really paying attention, thankfully. She clenched and unclenched her fists, muttering, "I'm going to get you, Laserbrain, just you wait." She glanced at Luke and said, "So are you coming to help or not?"

Luke's insides started knotting themselves. Face Han Solo? That guy was like the bad boy of the school. He did anything he wanted, whenever he wanted. No one stopped him. No one dared. (Except maybe Jabba, but he always got burned anyways.)

"S-sure." He heard himself squeak. He cleared his throat. "Um, I mean . . . yeah. Sure. Whatever. Yeah."

Leia's mouth broke into a huge grin. "Great!" she said. "Let's go!" she grabbed Luke's arm and dragged him with her. Luke couldn't even enjoy the fact that she was holding his arm, he was so terrified.

They reached the school yard, where Han was indeed pelting the squirrels with Chewie and Lando. Well, Han and Chewie were. Lando had hitched up his pants, the bottom of his cape around his shoulder, complaining about mud getting on his new custom-made leather shoes with bantha-fur lining.

"What do we do?" Luke whispered to Leia.

"Just . . . here, let's go together."

Luke was dragged again. The terror built up in his chest.

"Han!" Leia yelled. "Stop bothering the squirrels!"

Han turned slowly towards them, an impish grin on his face.

"You say something, your worship?"

Leia's teeth were clenched as she said, "Stop. Pelting. The. Squirrels."

Han continued smiling, tilting his head as if calculating something. (Highly doubtful. Han only does math when he's counting his money. Or how many enemies he has.)

"You seem uptight, princess," Han said smugly. "Is it because you can't stand me? Or," his eyes widened in fake shock, "Could it be, the opposite? Do you _like_ me?"

 _Leia_ likes _Han?_ Luke thought. He felt like someone had stomped over his heart. He turned to Leia for an explanation.

Leia's face was so red Luke doubted she had any blood left anywhere else.

"Why you, you stuck-up, half-wit, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder!" she sputtered.

Han's smile was so big it seemed to take up half his face. "Who you calling scruffy-looking?"

Leia was literally steaming, but she was silent. Luke's heart shriveled a little more.

"I. Do. Not. Like. You."

"Now, come on. You've liked me ever since you laid your eyes on me. Admit it. It'll make you feel better."

"You clearly don't know how to read a girl, then."

Then Leia did something totally unexpected. She kissed Luke. On the lips.

Luke's eyes widened, his senses on fire. ("Huh?" he hears Anakin say. Luke wondered what was so confusing. It probably wasn't important.)

Leia leaned away, slightly blushing. Luke turned to Han, whose mouth was so wide a T.I.E. fighter could've flown in, easy. Still in a daze, Luke muttered something unintelligible.

Leia cleared her throat. "Well, you've stopped hitting the squirrels, so I'll be going now."

Awkward silence. Leia chose that moment to walk away.

Luke came to his senses. He shot a smug grin at Han, and rested his back on a nearby tree, arms behind his head.

"Beat that, bad boy." He wiggled his eyebrows, hoping he looked cool, and sauntered away. He couldn't wait to tell Biggs what happened.


End file.
